Ask Ash: Am I wasting my time on him?

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Dear Ash,

About two months ago, me and my boyfriend broke up. He told me he needed time alone but we’d get back together, so I guess in a way we took a break. But lately, I’ve been so confused with him. He never calls me. I always have to call first and sometimes he won’t even answer and he’ll just text me saying “Can’t talk. Busy.” I just don’t understand. I feel like if it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t talk at all. I’m always trying so much but he doesn’t do anything. Then everytime we attempt to talk about “us” he keeps saying, “well, I still need time.” It’s already been two months. How much time does he need, or am I just wasting my time on nothing?

-Hopeless and Confused.

Dear Hopeless and Confused,

From the way I see it you have two different options here. You could either hold on and keep waiting and waiting for him to be ready, or you can let go and be stress free and just do your own thing. Honestly, holding on to him might just waste all of your time. From the way you put it, I truly don’t see you guys getting together anytime soon. Just because he needs all this time doesn’t necessarily mean you should sit around waiting. It’s not fair to you and things shouldn’t only be his way. Try to move on and find someone who puts as much into your relationship as you do. You don’t need to be with someone who’s basically pulling you along on a string. I honestly think that since he knows you’re always there and still keep trying, he’s going to use that against you. He’s doing his own thing yet still dragging you along because of the simple fact that you let him know you’re still trying. Stop putting yourself out there if he’s only going to shut you down. It is obvious you care, but maybe more then you should. It takes two to be in a relationship. Remember that. Be independent and show this boy that you don’t need him in order to be happy.

-Ash.


Dear Ash,

So there’s this really cute boy in my World Literature class. Recently, we just started talking and I think we’re really starting to like each other. The only problem is that he’s sort of known to have been around a lot, if you know what I mean. So my biggest concern is I’m still a virgin and I’m scared to tell him because what if he’ll change his mind or think I’m not ready or experienced enough for him?

-Non-experienced Girl.

Dear Non-experienced Girl,

Take a step back and realize what you wrote to me. I think it’s great that you guys are talking and starting to like each other a lot, as long as you’re happy. But stop thinking that you won’t be ready or good enough for him. Your virginity is something special that no one can take from you unless you let them. Girls who are virgins should be proud to say it. Being a virgin doesn’t make you look little or stupid or not ready, it makes you look like such a great person. Guys will respect you more and look at you better if you are a virgin. And honestly, if this guy doesn’t want you because you choose to keep your virginity then you don’t need him anyways. A guy like that is no where near worth your time or any part of you. Keep your virginity as long as you can, because it is the one thing that is truly yours. Don’t be ashamed and always remember it’s a good thing.

-Ash.

If you have questions or just want someone to talk to, feel free to email me at [email protected]

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