Rules of Road apply to Lane’s Hallways

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By Gaby Williams

The rules of Lane’s hallways have been said to operate like the rules of the road, minus cars and add a lot of embarrassing moments. Students encounter slow walkers, shoe malfunctions, occasionally going in the wrong direction and of course the awkward wave when your friend does not see you.
With the 09-10 school year coming to a close, here are some things to remember for next year.
Rule number one, do not just stop in the middle of the hallway, there are people trying to get to class, and running into you is not fun.
“People abruptly stop for absolutely no reason, or sometimes they stop to start a long winded conversation with friends, then of course the people making out in the middle of the hallways,” said Walter Stevens, Div. 182.
“I feel like we need cattle prods to push people in the halls to get them moving sometimes,” said Philip Duca, Div 181.
Of course slow walkers and socialites aren’t the only problems Lane students face in the halls.
Rule number two, play awkward moments (tripping, falling down stairs) off like they didn’t happen. Act natural. Every student has had at least one moment where they realize they are going the wrong way. Freshman or not, it happens to everybody. Maybe it was a long day, and they just took a wrong turn; maybe last minute they realize they are supposed to be in the computer lab.
“See, you merge into the left lane, and when you see an opening at the last minute you make a U turn,” said Amir Allam Div. 263.
To some people placement makes all the difference.
“My formula-find the nearest water fountain, take a drink then go the other way,” said William Maness, Div. 260.
“It depends where I am, if I’m close to the end of a hallway, I just turn around at the end,” said Kimberly Mathes, Div. 183.
Of course, sometimes these U turns don’t always go as planned.
“One day I was going to the music department and I realized I left something in my locker, It was really crowded because it was my lunch period. There was this awkward U turn I had to make, I bumped into like 5 people who all gave me dirty looks,” said Jerusha Young, Div. 179.
Some students choose to take a less subtle approach to redirecting themselves in the halls.
“If I go the wrong way, I just turn right around and go through everybody coming my way,” said Lauren Schnoebelen Div. 252.
“I just blatantly turn around and go back,” said Duca.
Stairs are another accident prone part of the halls, especially now that flip flops and other strapless shoes are a typical part of most girls’ attire.
“I’ve fallen down the stairs so many times its not even funny, the worst is when your shoe falls off and you have to go through a crowd of people to get it back,” said Mathes.
Any physical accident that exposes students to be a little klutzy at times needs a solution, a smooth way to play it off.
“It’s best if you are by a bathroom, you recover and wait in there until everybody who would have seen you fall is gone. The next day you will be wearing different clothes, and nobody would recognize you anyways,” said Johanna Martinez, Div. 169.
“I was going to class and there was this girl who fell down the stairs, she was okay, but she wouldn’t get up and everybody just kind of… walked around her. That’s what you do when you fall down, you sit the fetal position and wait for a gap to get up, that’s just proper etiquette,” said Allam.
Rule number three, its not really that big of a deal when your friend doesn’t see you wave, even if it feels like all eyes are on you. Still, most students like to try to recover in a way that makes it look like they didn’t just go unnoticed, a cover wave.
“If I wave to someone who doesn’t say hi, I’ll just run my fingers through my hair, or ‘swat at a fly’, maybe call their name. Or maybe just turn red and walk away really fast,” said Anastasia Protopappas, Div. 045.
“I pretend I waved at some one else, the whole hair thing is really obvious by now,” said Martinez.
Students showing their love to the world is what many would say is one of the most annoying things about the halls. Rule number four, which is tied with rule number one, don’t just stop in the middle of the hallway but in this case don’t make out in the middle of the hall, and if you insist on sucking face still, move out of the way. Try to aim for your locker because asking a couple to please not make out on your locker is a little awkward.
“As a senior, after four years of seeing hallway PDA, I’m pretty tired of it,” said Protopappas.
Well there you have it, your list of things to do (or not do) in the halls next year. Let’s get ready to start 2010-2011 off right, with as few embarrassing moments as possible.

Types of Walkers:
The Fast Walker: The student just focused on getting to class, weaves in and out of people and waves to an occasional friend, an average Lane student.
The Socialite: Walks generally at a regular speed, but known to stop suddenly because they know everybody, and must converse with everybody.
The Posse: Will walk in groups of 4+, walk slow, and gossip. Getting around the posse walkers is a hassle, because they take up the entire hallway.
The Couples/PDA-ers Walker: A couple who walks ridiculously slow, will stop at random times to make out, hug, or just stare at each other. Most awkward to pass up.
The Texter: Often seen tripping up stairs and shifty eyed looking out for teachers/security.
The Freshmen (not all freshman do this, plenty of upperclassmen are guilty too): bulging book bag running down the hall as soon as the first bell rings.

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