Hidden relationships cause stress, adrenaline rush

By Nistha Tamrakar

Ange Angarita, Div. 036, hid inside a Starbucks coffee shop for an hour and a half for her boyfriend, Hiathem Hamdan, Div. 168 to arrive. However, he was not late. Hamdan was returning her coat and purse she had left in his house while sneaking out the door, so his mom would not catch them together. He had to quietly leave the house later on, so his mom would not be suspicious. This type of sneaky behavior is common among teens involved in forbidden relationships.

Today, there are many teens whose parents forbid them from having a relationship. Many are not allowed to date due to cultural, religious, and maturity reasons. Still, many find tricks to sneak out, talk, and keep a relationship going.

Ajeema Mansuri, Div. 356, isn’t allowed to date at all because her parents are very strict about keeping a good reputation within their family.

“They don’t want me to have a boyfriend because then people in my family will talk and eventually drama will happen within my family,” said Mansuri.

Mansuri has been dating her boyfriend for nine months. Throughout her relationship, she has familiarized herself with using various techniques to keep her relationship hidden from her parents.

“Whenever I go out with my boyfriend, I always tell my parents that I am out with my friends,” said Mansuri. “But then they usually end up calling me to ask what me what my friends and I are up to, so I tell my mom to hold on and I call one of my friends and three way them with my mom. This makes it look like my friend is next to me and my mom will be assured I am with them.”

Others have taken precautionary methods to hide the communication within their relationship.

“I have to change all my settings for my Facebook profile, said Kristin W., Div 371. “My mom is always looking through my computer, so I make sure everything is on private because she is very paranoid when it comes to high school girls and boys.”

“I changed my boyfriend’s name on my phonebook to a random girl’s name,” said Paulina W., Div. 373. “I always have to lie about meeting with him, and delete all my texts daily.”

“I bought a prepaid phone just so I can talk to my boyfriend without my dad knowing,” said an anonymous sophomore. “I have a family plan so my dad gets the bill and he can see how long I talked for to any number. I want to avoid the whole interrogation from my dad about who I am talking to for so long at night.”

Some students have encountered incidents where they were nearly caught.

Maliha Khan, Div. 048, experienced a situation where she was confident that she would not get caught. However, she almost did.

“My parents went to work and I had the house all by myself,” said Khan. “I told my boyfriend to come over and he did. My parents have cameras set up at work and we can monitor them from our computer at home. So while my boyfriend and I hung out at my house, I check numerous times on the computer to make sure my parents are still at work,” said Khan. “However, I guess I forgot to check again and next thing you know I hear my front door open. My dad yells out, ‘Maliha! I’m home.’ As soon as I heard his voice my heart dropped. I shoved my boyfriend into the closet and he hid there for 20 minutes. I went to talk to my dad and acted normal. Then when my dad finally went to his room, my boyfriend ran out the back door.” said Khan.

Hiding guys in the closet is typical for movies and TV shows, but many people never realize that the same situation can occur to them.

“Whenever I watch shows like that, I had always told myself ‘Wow, I would never be as stupid as that girl,’ said Berenice Arista, Div. 020. “Then again, it could happen to me, and hiding a boy in my closet can end up being my last resort.”

At first, secret relationships can feel mysterious and exciting; arranging dates outside normal hang-outs and restaurants and trying other methods. After a while, however, the secrecy of the relationships becomes a chore. There is constant fear, which can close the door to true intimacy and ruin the relationship before it really has a chance to begin.

“When I did have a boyfriend, I always worried that he might end our relationship because there was always constant stress in everything we did because I was paranoid that my parents would catch me,” said Arista.

“Lately, I have been feeling that I would like to end my relationship with my boyfriend of eight months,” said an anonymous junior. “I have been thinking about my future and I can’t ever bring myself to tell my family about the relationship because I am only allowed to marry a guy within my culture, so therefore I feel it has no future. Although I care for him, I don’t see the point in carrying this on with all the risks it involves.”

Still, many continue with such hidden relationships because they are in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Many believe that if they have been able to hide it so far, then they can continue.

“My parents have had no suspicion at all, and it’s been almost a year,” said Mansuri. “For now, I’m just going to keep using the same tricks and methods I have been using and maybe create new ones as I need to.”