Why can’t we be friends?


By Danah Bialoruski

“You have really nice eyebrows,” said Raluca Dima, Div. 452.

It was the first thing Dima said to Destinee Cambium, Div. 464, when they first met at swim camp. From that point on, they were close friends.

Though friendships can sometimes blossom right away, there are times when those relationships face hardships. The way friendships reconcile after that hardship, though, can allow the friendship to grow stronger.

“We’ve changed a lot since freshman year,” Cambium said. “We spend so much time with each other that we get really irritated with one another and just get mad.”

Since Dima and Cambium were on the Swim Team together, they would see each other for six or more hours a day. At practices, they would sometimes swim in the same lane, which could lead to  them getting on each other’s nerves.

“Sometimes I would lead the lane and she would be behind me and then she would touch my toes, meaning that she wanted to pass me,” Dima said. “But that would get so annoying because I’m the one leading the lane, not her.”

As Cambium would aggravate Dima, Dima would aggravate Cambium right back.

“Well some days I would just be having an off day and go really slow and she would yell at me for not making my times,” Cambium said. “So I would yell at her and say ‘Don’t tell me what to do! If you want to make the times then you make the times!’”

Due to the tension caused from the yelling, the other girls on the team would get quiet and uncomfortable.

The two have found ways to ease the tension when things like this happen. They have developed a habit of giving each other a look. Once they make eye contact, one will make a funny face and the anger they felt before melts away.

Another way to make sure they maintain their friendship, according to Dima is to simply apologize. Dima says she will sometimes apologize to Cambium first, regardless of who started the fight.

“She’s so stubborn,” Dima said. “I know she won’t apologize at all and I can’t giver her space because then it just makes her drift even farther. She is so prideful.”

Nevertheless, the girls have managed to maintain a strong friendship which is good since they see each other more than ever this year. The two have five classes with each other.

Friends Bibiana Delgado, Div. 482, and Ives Ortez, Div. 452, have experienced a long term falling out while in high school.

The summer after sophomore year, Ortez started dating a new boyfriend, which meant spending less time with Delgado.

“We stopped hanging out the summer after sophomore year because she was always with her boyfriend,” Delgado said. “It’s not like she wasn’t hanging out with just me, though. She wasn’t hanging out with any of our other friends.”

Ortez says not hanging out with Delgado was unintentional and that she had not realized how much she had drifted from her friends.

When Ortez broke up with her boyfriend, she texted Delgado and asked if she wanted to get ice cream with her.

“I invited [Delgado] and our two other friends because I didn’t want to feel awkward or uncomfortable with [Delgado],” Ortez said. “We hadn’t really talked that much and I thought it would be weird.”

Since the ice cream date, they have returned to being close friends. And though they feel like they have both changed during high school, they believe they have changed together in a positive way.

Friendship can face many obstacles during the drama-filled years of high school. Those who find ways to maintain friendships or reconcile those that have fallen off find their relationships can grow to be stronger than ever.