Elephant in the Classroom
A column dedicated to examining those awkward high school situations
By Cody Lee
OMG! Winter, and snowmen, and presents! Yayyyy, right? Wrong. Now that winter’s eerie glow is creeping up on us, a demon that we are all semi-content with just got 1,000 times worse…riding the CTA.
The bus usually isn’t too bad. We might have to deal with a few weirdos every now and then, but that’s about it. You wait a few minutes for a bus to come, get on, pay, sit down, put on your headphones, then get off. Occasionally some people might smell like feet, or take up two seats, but it’s not that big of a deal. But in the winter, everything multiplies.
Waiting for the bus in a blizzard is probably the worst feeling on Earth. The 10 minute wait seems like an eternity. You can be wrapped in nine coats, seven pants, 20 gloves (each hand), and five hats, and somehow you’re still freezing. On top of that, you can’t text anyone to pass the time unless you’re crazy and want to take off your gloves.
By the time you get on the bus, it’s completely crowded and you can smell the sickening snot from everyone’s red little Rudolph noses, including your own. Everyone that usually takes up two seats, now takes up four due to the layers of clothes that they are bundled in. There is no room to reach in your pocket to grab your iPod since you’re crammed in like a sardine. Instead of listening to glorious music, you have to hear all about dumb, adolescent topics like Justin Beiber’s baby-mama-drama.
If you are one of the lucky ones to get a seat, you end up next to a sneezy, tissue abusing little kid, infected with the common cold. If you are not sick already, it’s bound to catch on by the end of the bus ride.
After about 15 minutes of riding, you are no longer freezing. Quite the opposite actually. You are sweating. It’s amazing grace when you first step on the bus and it’s 90 degrees, but after a while, the heat becomes unbearable. And it doesn’t help that you are buried under 100 articles of clothing.
Did I mention that the bus ride is three times as long as usual because of the snow-time traffic? You would think that there is nothing you can do besides (uncomfortably) hang in there. On the contrary, allow me to offer a cornucopia of ideas to help pass the time:
* People Watch: It’s surprisingly interesting, human beings do fascinating things.
* Talk to the bus driver: Most amusing stories you will ever hear, guaranteed.
* Read: Not my cup of tea, but some people look pretty intrigued in what they are reading.
* Learn something new: Learning new stuff is great 99.9% of the time. Whether it’s learning how to snap, whistle, or speak Polish, the bus is the perfect learning ground.
* Look out the window: When worse comes to worst, and there is nothing at all to do, you can’t go wrong with the beauty of… nature.
If you have to take the bus everyday, that stinks…literally. But at least now you know how to make the best of it. Obviously it’s not the luxurious life but getting on a bus with so many brilliant opportunities is simply priceless.
