17th May2010

“Scary Kerry,” not so scary

By David Pohlad

“Scary Kerry” got her nickname simply because of her “weird” styles and her “odd” eye for fashion. Like many students at Lane, Kerry is sometimes judged simply for dressing differently.

Scary Kerry’s real name is Kerry Skrobo, Div. 185. There are many student-fabricated rumors about Kerry, but few of them are true.

Her looks can be deceiving, however. Kerry has short pink hair, pierced cheeks, and often sports pink Doc Martin boots. Many students mistake these accessories as “punk” or “goth”. Kerry does not associate herself with either of these labels, claiming to be a subculture of her own. Punks’ or Goths’ clothing styles are normally influenced by the music they listen to. Kerry, however, is a self-described eclecticist who finds her influences in many sources rather than a single music genre.

“The music I listen to doesn’t really affect the way I present myself anymore. When I was younger I did try dressing according to the style of music I was interested in at the time. However, I came to realize it isn’t very fun dressing a certain way just to look like you belong to something.”

In fact, the music Kerry listens to is completely different from what most students would guess.

“I listen to a wide array of music. However, I don’t care much for hard rock. I especially like rap and a multitude of subgenres of electronic music. Some of my favorites include hardcore, electro, and drum-and-bass.”

An Art major, Kerry is a “creative type.” One of her favorite hobbies is sewing. She is considering fashion design as a future career.

Since there are no sewing or fashion design classes offered at Lane, Kerry takes what she considers to be the next best thing: graphic design class taught by Mr. Ara.

Like a lot of students, Kerry excels in the subjects she likes and sometimes lets other classes fall to the wayside.

“Kerry’s a good student when she cares about something. I’ve seen her in other classes though. I actually first met her in my summer school class for art,” said Mr. Ara.

In class, Kerry can be shy and reserved, or talkative and outgoing. It all depends on the person she’s talking to.

“She’s pretty quiet towards the students she doesn’t know. She talks to me though, and after she gets to know other students she’s a lot more extroverted towards them,” said Ara.

Mr. Ara has inevitably noticed Kerry’s fashion sense like everyone else.

“You can tell by her style that she’s trying to be original. Except everybody at Lane knows her as like, ‘the girl with the eyebrows’ or something.”

However, Ara admits that he too would jump to conclusions if he were a student at Lane and saw Kerry walking through the halls.

“Everyone passes judgments, I’d probably pass judgments on her if I didn’t know her. I don’t know what kind of judgments though. They’d probably be like ‘oh cool this girl is into her own thing’.”

Kerry is a walking example of why students (and even teachers) should break the habit of judging others.

“I think it’s ignorant on their part and rather sad that they’d decide how they feel about a person without even talking to them,” said Kerry.

Kerry is also a reminder that there is no reason for all high schoolers to dress so similarly.

“Society plays a role in the way high schoolers dress, and not just for those trying to fit the ‘popular teen model’. For nearly any stereotype that teens emulate there’s a store that caters to each, be it Hot Topic for the ‘goths’ or Hollister for the ‘preps’ or Urban Outfitters for the ‘hipsters’. I think that people that try to fit that model are wasting their time trying to please others and need to get in touch with they really want to be doing.”

Although Kerry gets plenty of stares and is judged by fellow students, she has come to embrace her own sense of style and believes that others should follow in their own footsteps of fashion.

07th May2010

Real relationships need Facebook certification

By David Pohlad

Teenage love is the most primitive form. It is when teens finally get to experience the company of a significant other. Teenagers often think that the intensity of the relationship is based on communication, compatibility, and physical attraction. These immature couples don’t yet know that their relationship is absolutely nothing unless it is Facebook-certified.

To obtain a Facebook certification, a Facebooker must make sure they follow an important list of rules and guidelines. The guidelines may seem excessive, but the key to any healthy relationship starts with internet access.

1. It is not a true relationship unless you are “In a Relationship” on Facebook. The status lets other Facebookers know that you are bound to another individual via inter-web. As the relationship intensifies, the obvious decision is to change your relationship status to “Engaged” and then eventually “Married” when you finally decide to tie the virtual knot. With that said, married people shouldn’t have Facebooks. It makes things confusing.

2. Unless you hate your significant other, you’d better let them know your affection by “liking” every possible thing on their wall. Even if their status is something that requires no opinion – like “The weather is nice today” – you absolutely have to “like” it. You wouldn’t want your partner thinking you don’t like nice weather would you? “Liking” this status reminds your partner that you too like nice weather, reinforcing the thought that the two of you have oh so much in common.

3. The key to any healthy relationship is communication. Through communication you can learn about each other’s lives and pasts. Thanks to Facebook, you can Facebook chat the night away, eliminating the petty need for couples to actually talk in person. Who would ever want to talk to somebody face to face when you can just as easily use smiley faces and winky faces ;) ?

4. As you progress into the relationship, things may start to slow down and the relationship may get dull. The last thing anyone wants is for their Facebook relationship to end, so spice things up by “poking” your partner. This “poke” can be considered playful, emotional, or even sexual. This evocative gesture will leave your partner dying to be back in your arms, but instead they’ll flip through your pictures, which is good, too. Granted, “poking” others on Facebook can be really creepy, so poke with caution.

5. The last rule is a given. After you’ve been in your Facebook relationship for about two or three weeks, you know it is true love. You have poked each other many times, and you even have lots of mutual friends. Now is the time to start leaving the wall comments exclaiming your undying, deep love and affection for one another. You could keep the love notes private and send them through messages, but you are so love-struck that you don’t care what people think. You just want them to know that your Facebook, (and real life…technically) partner is perfect for you. The couples who have been dating for what seems like ages (usually four to five weeks) may even write in their statuses how passionate their love for their partner is.

Following these five golden rules is absolutely necessary if a couple wants a Facebook relationship that lasts. A healthy social life starts with late nights on Facebook.

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